Sunday, February 21, 2010

Dear Diary....

I have been on a self imposed sabbatical...from technology, from life in some ways. I often times feel the need to do this. It is not calculated or planned at all. It just happens. I must also admit that drinking wine and smoking pot play a part. It is like the rhythms of life, like the in and out of ones breath. Or the beating of the heart. The coming and going of the waves on the beach. There is an expansion followed by a contraction. This is a common theme in my life.

As I come out of this contracted state, I look back and try to understand what prompted it. A lot has transpired in the past months and especially got heated up around my birthday in extremes. I am thankful that I had the sense to warn my mother that there would be a Quatro backlash because of my ' Who cares if my aunt is Suzi Quatro blog." My poor mom was blasted for it, directly and covertly. Ridiculous really, I am a 45 year old woman. If they felt something, they could say it to me. And would be met with my truth, that I can and will share whether they like it or not.

This is yet another theme in my life....people NOT addressing their issues with me to me. Even when my brothers get mad at me they rarely tell me. They just call my mother to tell her I am crazy or whatever. I am not really sure what that is about. Why don't people just deal directly and go to the source? Why do they all go and vomit all over my mother??? It is odd and I do not get it. Sorry Mom that you are somehow always in the line fire, taking bullets intended for me.

I am sure part of this recent Quatro reaction has to do with the fact that my aunts are in process with getting music they recorded a hundred years ago out into the public. That they do not want anything "negative" to be floating around. [ As if their attitudes and attacks are not] It all seems to me to be born of the same 'famous' virus that infects the family. It is all so ass backwards..... based on facade.

I have learned so much from doing this blog. Especially from the comments and responses to it. After years of hiding and trying to be pretty, smart, famous...... I have never been more seen, heard and accepted. As I expose all my warts as honestly as I can. What an amazing verification. And how it flies in the faces of all that other bullshit. It is a sad when ones life is built with a house of cards. I build mine now brick by brick. I fear not the big bad wolf anymore, my house is almost complete.

Yet, the old order will fight as it is doing. It will fight to not be exposed. To keep its mask firmly in place. To hide all its ugly parts that are more human than the ones they elevate to mythical proportions. To their own minds. I am not this. Just a girl/woman from Michigan doing the best I can. Sometimes failing miserably, sometimes not.

I believe I have a fear of real power. Not the overpowering in your face one...I am adept at that. But real power based on love.... and in truth. I feel that I was growing a lot before the contraction and got scared on some level. That is why I retreated in to mans land. There was no man or woman or connection in this land. Just days melting into days, weeks into weeks.

I struggle with ways to take a little bit of the edge off. I have been sober at different times in my life but not right now. I like to drink wine. And sometimes smoke pot. But it seems to me that the tail is wagging the dog. It does not help that I have almost chronic back pain from my injury on the set last year but it would be lying to act as if that if the problem.

The problem is much bigger than that. I am not even completely clear WHAT the problem is. I want to spell it out clearly but I realize that I cannot. I suppose a part of it is that I feel things really deeply and it can serve to buffer that. That I do not trust life and get scared when I never know what tomorrow holds. That I try to do too much all the time and sometimes do not know how to unwind.

All of these sound good, reasonable..... But accurate? I don't really know. Then I wonder why do I feel I need a reason. I hold this false belief that when I understand something then I can get beyond it. I realize it may not always be the case. And yet I will still walk down that path at times. Its one of the ways that I lie to myself.

Maybe the beauty is so full and complete that I don't know how to accept it. That it is so foreign to my life experience I fear it will not last and so I put layers between myself and it to shield myself. From the inevitable let down when it all goes pear shaped. When it is all I really want. I am self sabotaging a blissful state of being, a life I have always dreamed of.

I suppose this is another nonsensical rant. It is my way back to writing. I sometimes do not know what to write..... But write I must for it does fill me in a way that nothing else can.

Sending love and light out to the world...


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I've battled similar demons over the course of my 22 years on this Earth, and though I still have much to gather from my experiences I think this may ring true: Happiness demands a lot from people -- trust, vulnerability, overlooking faults within oneself and others, etc. How emotionally and intellectually receptive you are also determines just how vast these demands are. It can be a serious burden at times, and it makes it easy to retreat into oneself. Once there, we can find all sorts of ways to justify it to ourselves and reinforce that false sense of security, whether it's through drug use, overanalyzation, or self-blame. Still... it can never hurt to take a step back, understand why you're there, and figure out whether or not it's what you really want, right?

    Thanks for sharing.

  3. Dear Sherilyn,

    I am looking for your blog for more than an year. Without knowing that the blog Exists.
    From some time, I am making some bold changes in my life. Without the matching energy, without any help. I turned my life upside down for the sake of searching. Something....
    So, I was in serous need of resources...From my mind, from my subconscious from my past...Anything...
    And the light has come...In the shape of a mysterious character from Twin Peaks. Audrey.
    I have forgotten the plot of the film, even the full name of the character...But I remember vividly the pure light she emanated...Her gestures, her surreal beauty...Have I dreamt this girl? And it's not the mask I was drown to, not the fame effect ( that undoubtedly connected with the character). No, in this darkness ,in this turmoil fame would be the last thing to be attracted to...
    It was more to it, and I started to search on the internet, on this God like internet. And I found your blog...And I have an explanation of her great effect on me. She is almost Real!
    Thank you for the light,

  4. Not nonsensical at all....Sherilyn, your shares make more sense to me than a lot of things in this crazy world. Don't stop have an amazing gift....sending love and light back to you and your family (love Dylan's shares, too)

    P.S...I caught a teeny, tiny bit of your performance in Cavedweller recently. You were fab! (Lisa Cholodenko is one of my favorite directors...I hope working with her was a positive experience)

  5. Sherilyn-

    as i've said to you before, i love your blogs so much. its funny but i think there is this incredible domino effect when we knock down our own walls and reveal our personal human condition and experience. seeing one person stand up or remove their mask makes us embrace our differences as well as our similarities in this beautiful liberating way.
    i, too, worry about writing personal things or affecting my family in public or looking foolish. but then i start to think about it, and i realize that so long as i am coming from a place of pure heart and i am careful to point out that this is MY point of view. MY EYES. it's not harmful but healing in this passive aggressive world. Must be harder for you being in a sort of spotlight. perhaps it's hard for them too. they are still feeling so much fear of public perception. i hope they will let go of that fear.
    My search in life has brought me to one special truth, im sure it will evolve, but after a go at the gold ring in career and the art world i came to the realization a few years ago that i just want to be happy and loving. Happiness does not have to be defined by what the outside world determines as successful or respectable. its all about having your own priorities and meeting our own potential. im blogging again partly due to you and my friend gina who have so bravely opened yourselves up and inspired me. i am happier for it and i feel less alone everyday. i feel like me again. that little girl who loved herself.

    Kurt Vonnegut Jr. said in Slaughterhouse Five "there is only one rule i know of babies, you've got to be kind."
    So beautifully put and an important thing to remember. i believe that a kind person can never be a worthless person. kindness is a gift we give eachother and ourselves. What a humanist Vonnegut was. You seem to be a humanist too. we must treat ourselves humanely as well.

    I also love this quote "no one can make you feel inferior with out your permission." good ol' Elenor roosevelt. i think this goes for how we feel about ourselves too. permitting ourselves to feel as though we have something to prove. something to measure up to.

    Anyway, here i am doing my own ranting in your comments. heheh

    many thanks and much love to you and everyone! hopes i can snag you a good agent!


    P.S. : i revised this comment after all the mistakes i made in it. i think my cold medicine made me dizzy and i missed them in the first proofread.

  6. Lyle Lovett has a song that contains the lyrics: "the highway is lonesome, but the highway is straight. And some things are heavy, but they ain't worth the weight."

    If something is too heavy, I say drop it and walk away. I like what Candy says about being kind. Being good to yourself, and to other people is the ONLY true way to be happy.

    Everything else is a waste of time.

  7. As an artist, I believe that we can fall in love with an idea, a place, a person, an object all too easily. We feel and love much deeper than the rest of the world around us can. Which is why the world looks to artists for inspiration, they have either forgotten how to love without hesitation or just never learned how.

  8. Hello there,

    I made this comment after reading you blog and think at it. I do not re-read it.

    but... : here I go :)

    As I know you are a shy person.
    The fact that you are famous, maybe, return your more greater shyness.
    The hardest thing in the human world is the communication. She can be very easy for some and be hard, see painful, for the others.
    The new technologies nowadays can seem terrible because they are fast and often look like "comment-it" or "post-it", Internet returns even harder things when we are shy. Fear of making a stupidity by writing something wrong, to write something which does not go into the subject, etc. etc.
    But, there is a thing which does not change and which is aggravating with these technologies, it is that people who do not say things in front of people who are concerned can say it more ""frankly", with more coolness and with more spite than in this daily life. And, the worst is when it arrives we meet confused in front of what was said, and more we can feel culpability.
    It's the same with telephones. Often, I heard things said behind my back, a kind of chain " a such said as you are and the other one said that you are… blablabala… " and finally we do not know the real nature of the original message.
    We want to say but "fuc!" what they want ??? - why they do not say to me directly ???
    But, they do not have, also, the good words for tell it may be…

    I think that in a certain way, with the new technologies, it is necessary to adapt themselves to it and to find a way to communicate which looks like us in each of us. In the life, we put such or such thing forward because it represents us, it is necessary to make it also with internet. Do not play the false.
    Well… Internet is not either the center of the life but, it is certainly more and more present in our society. (Regrettably? I do not know too much, but I do not thing so).

    Then… I do not know where you are situated in all this but, it is necessary to try to stay true to ourself and if the other persons that we can cross are not satisfied, it is that finally they did not like us very much…

    I think that it must be more difficult, for you who are famous, for fear of a judgment.
    But, I do not think that this fear have a place to be and does not have to paralyze you in what you say/write.

    There is, maybe, an other thing which has to put you ill-at-ease. It is because people whom estimate you (or appreciate) through internet and its technologies, it must frustrate you to not know them, it, may be, also has to frighten you or intrigue you rather.

    I would say nothing on the fact that you smoke pot, I had this experience also but I stopped it because it did not bring me anything of good and I rarely drink, only in situations which can lend themselves to it, but it is not as far as I criticize people who do it, because I know very well that somewhere it brings to their a support. I would just like to say that this support can be little bit more natural, but well…

    In every case, do not stop to write your blog. We have all high and down, we are human and not robots.
    It is maybe this that we have to combinate with the technologies, keep a human part. And it is not easy thing.... You manage it well.

    And for finish with this long and terrible text : you have two children, you are a busy woman, you are with a man - relationship, you have discovered a sister (!!!)…. It's not a easy work to do at all!!! Also, I understand very well that you need to re-find you and keep away for a moment this technology which is complicated. And I do really think that you will do it perfectly. You deserve it.
    Go On!

    Love and light,


    P.S : sorry for be so long and for my english (I must translate my french into english before post a comment and it's not very easy... I try to do it well...)

  9. Glad you returned to us, nonsensical or not...and my god, the comments here are just as fascinating as the blog, and I find myself getting ready to retreat- thinking I have nothing to add to this...then I sort of realize this is another symptom of retreat. Ive been retreating a lot lately...circling-the-mental wagons so to speak. anyway, talk about non sensical....

  10. you are heard, and accepted. your words - and the worldless that is behind them - matter. power is such a bore, in the end, because it is based on separation.

  11. Hey pretty lady, I admire your courage in sharing so much with the world.

    Keep on being you.

    It may not always make everyone around you happy, but so what -- since when were you responsible for everyone else's happiness?

    That's too much for you to shoulder, especially given what I read in your last post.

    Sometimes the best we can do is to just be a role model for others who want to blaze their own trails...

  12. I often feel and expansion followed by a retreat in an emotional/consciousness way. It seems to just happen naturally. I don't know if it's dismissive of me to tell myself that it's the nature of energy in the universe, but that helps me accept it. LOL.

    When you mention your real power, I wonder if that is the power of surrendering/connecting to the good in yourself and connection to a higher power/consciousness? You mention an edge, taking the edge off--does the edge come from a feeling of disconnect (or the 'contraction')?

    It can be very hard to deal with the uncertainties life brings, the pain, and the threat of overwhelm (I, personally, struggle with fear of being overwhelmed). Perhaps the problem is accepting our indomitable strength, our good, even when the big bad wolf (fear) is psyching us out?

  13. I disagree with fuguewriter, in that I don't think true power is based on separation at all. I think social power/ego power may be, but that power can also be unifying. The more self-accepting/tuned in we are to our best and truth, the more powerful we become. The more powerful we become, the more we are useful, helpful, and connected to others. Power is anything but boring--it is our birth right.

  14. I'm totally unfamiliar with the culture of the language you're speaking--even though I'm American and am a translator.

    I am familiar with two things from experience, though: 1. Beautiful people tend to be more fucked up than other people, for various reasons; 2. drinking leads to situations with a very unpredictable and somewhat insane dynamic that creates a story scenario that people talk about and that you become, in a way, addicted to.

    The clown, the drunk, the artist, the off-scientist, the bored fragmented identity with talents and no purpose or meaning. I haven't figured out shit. I want sobriety, a meaningful job and a woman who won't fuck me over because I've decided to become uninteresting

  15. Hey! Just wanted to tell you that it's been over a year that I'd written in my blog, and reading you for the last couple of weeks has inspired me to get at it again. It *IS* very liberating, and to see that your thoughts sometime echo my own tells me that there are like-minded people out there that we don't even know... what a relief! Don't stop, it's great!

  16. After further thought, I realized I understand the first paragraph. At least conceptually. But apart from contractions--heart or breath-like--a person's reality over time is very much like the weather.

    Sustained: continually sunny and mild, or cold and cloudy. Or it can be (as it is for me) erratic and unpredictable, changing rapidly with polarizing tendencies like you find in the climate of New England. The pendulation between sun and cloud, dry and hazy, hot and cold as well as the back and forth movement between placid calm and raging storm.

    The main problem here is that the modern world proceeds within extremely consistent and precisely regulated structures. Work and opening hours, train and plane schedules, contracts with production and payment deadlines, start and end dates, etc. etc. etc.

  17. I can't believe I didn't read this blog until now.
    Please keep doing what you are doing Sherilyn. Air your thoughts, vent, share, do whatever YOU need to do. I thought your Quatro blog was fine. The reason for this was that it was honest. There is no crime to telling it the way it is, (or even the way you percieve it). I detected no malice whatsoever in your blog, only a desire to speak. The only crime would be to sugar-coat your words or to lie.
    I confess, I have admired the image and the talent of "Sherilyn Fenn" for years. But of course all of us fans could only guess as to what and who the "real" Sherilyn Fenn was.
    I am happily pleased to learn through this blog (and through Facebook), that you are quite literally a thousand times sweeter, more emotional, far more intelligent and amazingly more considerate than I ever could have imagined. You are finally very "real".
    I genuinely hope you continue your blogs, continue your honesty, and continue to be you.
    Finally my faith in the internet has been justified.
    Thanks so much!!

  18. as always ... i love what you do. hope you continue with the blog.

    love and light

  19. Sherilyn:

    Another interesting and revealing rant; a bit more sensical that you think. Your Suzi Quatro post did seem like it would result in family “feedback”. I know that in my family, revealing/controversial “conversations” usually result in family discussions regarding merits of the “conversation”; to include discussing the state, as an excuse, of those involved. My mother plays the role of informant, referee, and confidant (however she shares more than she keeps secret). I believe she is trying to keep the peace and to keep everyone together….her accepted responsibility. My sister, brothers and I are around the same age as you and we are all, for the most part, professionally and personally settled however, when the family gets together it seems like fall into the roles framed long ago. For example, my sister and I still taunt each other, my brother still feels left out, and my mother still treats us as if we were children (like showing her pride, in public, for our smallest little accomplishments). After a short while “experiencing” the family as it was and is trying to be, I always need to unwind from the intensity and drama…..but, then I miss them.

    The days that flow into weeks that flow into years are certainly, as you say, scary because we never know what tomorrow holds. For some, the unknown is exciting and refreshing and the balance between fright and curiosity brings on uniqueness of our expectations and planning for each person’s future. The same variations that shape expectations of tomorrow seems to be influenced by the where we are in loves extremes. As Kahlil Gibran states, on one hand love crowns you but on the other hand it will crucify you; It is for both your growth and your pruning. In other words, the future is not very exciting when going through self crucifixions. When living through the crowning side of love, the future seems to hold so much more promise and excitement. These thoughts of love and the future is what your post got me thinking of and I appreciate you sharing your deepest and rawest of thoughts. Your introspections, as dark and bizarre as they are, are certainly thought provoking.

    Thanks and keep on writing.

  20. Sherilyn:

    I can't tell you anything to make it all go away. But you make me feel so good when I read your posts. You are adorable! I love you! You're like a thousand really bright red cherries in a world dark and grey, plain and simple.

    I just sent you 2.5 millions kisses in the air. Hang in there kid, you're not alone in the way you feel. It's called feeling nothingness and everything all at the same time. It's too difficult to put to words. Life is crazy, and so are people. Just enjoy yourself and don't let anyone get in the way, even if that means major sacrifices. Most people won't make those, but to really be you, you have to.

  21. *I am happy that I live on this planet with people like you!)

  22. I'm always disappointed in people when I find out they have a problem with me, and they tell everyone but me.

    As for the fallout from your SQ post: It is absolutely your right to blog about things that have happened to you in your life. Whatever you write is certainly not going to deter fans from buying Pleasure Seekers reissues (that includes me - I love all that old Hideout shit!).

    This is your place to tell it like you see it, and there's nobody who should be able to tell you to stop.

  23. I've been a fan of yours for a long time. As a 25 year-old woman, its very hard to find others these days such as yourself who are truly thoughtful and share the same views in life, especially for those in my generation. They're all so infatuated with themselves and completely depthless that it really gets under my skin sometimes, that I have nothing in common with them. Seeing your blog, which I found today, I must say that you are truly an amazing and inspiring woman. I will definitely be following your blog. I hear and accept you and wish you and yours all the very best. God Bless!

  24. There is not one moment that is not flowing. All is movement. Feelings grow and fall, some precious petals, some leaves. the complexity is there for few to see and feel in awe about. an ocean of wonder, stimulating if you so see it as such. A great gift is giving. I feel when you surround yourself with people who are less chained to the system that kills the spirit, that feeds the body to obesity and fuels the ego and divide... yours is recharged with their more balanced way of being. Having been to orphanages with my parents...I've witnessed and felt something you do not feel ease that comes with accepting the temporary experience of being, gratefulness and joy for each moment...and always a smile and hope.

    The struggle provides us with a great opportunity to progress to a higher mode of operating. You sharing your thoughts shows your strength. And those writing back are also navigating in circles not far away. it's a blessing to have positive energy come from all corners of this beautiful world. even if it is sent via the internet.

    a song i thought I'd share with you.

    don't be afraid of what you see or the depth you feel. jump in


  25. Hope you're having a good day!

  26. When ambition ends, happiness begins.

    --Thomas Merton

  27. good thoughts to you, as ever. :)

  28. evaporate into the stillness. giggle till it hurts.

  29. Hey, nothing for ages. Hope you're doing okay.

  30. I'm waiting for your new blog, but take the time that it is necessary to write it ;-)

    Love and Light,


  31. Wow, damn girl, you are just human. But, you're still the most beautiful woman alive. I will meet you behind the curtain anytime.

    As for your brothers running to your mother (and all the other squabbling)... That's what she's there for. She's the mom. Who else do you go to when you have a problem? The majority of people hate face to face confrontation (The Net is another story). Your children will be chewing your ear off when they're older and have problems with each other.

    Embrace the family problems and the love. Because in the end, it's better to be bitched about then ignored. That's when you know you've done something unforgivable.

  32. My mother's mother side of the family is Fenn.

    I first heard of you back in the 90's. My brother bought this poster of you at a college. We were visiting for no particular reason, day-trippin', mostly I wanted to see what they had to offer for correspondence courses since I was in the military at the time, but out of this quirky store...comes my brother with your Twin Peaks poster.

    It was his surreal Lynch phase, I suppose. Anyhoo...

    I made the comment to my grandmother a little later on, that I was un-usually attracted to an actress, whom I identified at the kissing cousin level. She was amused by that, I think. Anyway Sherilyn...

    Brunettes to me, will never be damaged Sarah Palin goods to me, as long as good folks like you are still around. You sure do have my mom's eyes.

    It's the end of 420, April 20th. It takes a good month to get the chemical completely out of your system (detectable levels), and speaking from experience...probably another two months afterwards, that even will need to dry out in order to completely rid yourself of that crave when around smoke.

    Everyone is moody and everyone has their moments. You aren't anyone special for it, but you are very beautiful, at least to me. So I think you should be happy without substances, as much as you should be with them. Some would say it's a sacrament. I prefer the word indulgence, myself. Not always required, if you get my drift.

    I don't want you to feel ashamed about your relationship with 'family' either. Just try to make it work for everyone all around. It's all you can do, really. You don't want to burn your bridges with relatives. It's better to just let them age, fall down to the river, washed to sea.

    Sometimes it's better to just let time have it's way. Accept things the way they should be meant to be.

    Angelo Badalamenti

    "My (musical) world is a little bit dark... a little bit off-center. I think of it as tragically beautiful. That is how I would describe what I love best: tragically beautiful."

  33. The analogy of the waves is so apt, Sherilyn. I too experience periods of extreme immersion into the lives and complications of others (through face-to-face interaction, through technology), and then need extreme solace in order to regroup; to be able to just _be_ in the world. I also understand the fuzzy comfort that wine can bring. I am attempting sobriety for the first time in my life, but never judge anyone for occasionally needing its warm comfort.

    I hope the negative energies invading your life of late have receded, and that all is golden. Best-Alexandra

  34. I haven't seen your work except for memorized Two Moon. I haven't read you either except for this blog. I'll read the older blogs after this. So sorry to hear about your back pain, I really am. Is that how you get your pot? I hope the back doesn't hurt too much. Though we've never met I've hoped the best for you. I like you enough to ask you out though you're out of state. I don't travel only because it's so expensive and because St Maries, ID is pretty enough year round. I'd love to get to know you offline email so look up listed John Iverson if you're ever so inclined. Just don't act phone fraud retard the first 60 seconds and you're home free until otherwise whatever, I have a mental problem with one minute phone fruad retards. So the invite is there Sherilyn. You seem, correct that, you are a nice girl. I read once you have intense home decorating and lots of pets so like how do take off for those out of state signings? Anyway glad to see that you can write, your twitter page though looks strange. I know you can act.

  35. I figured out a solution for fraud phone calls. Disconnect the phone that controls the ten extension phones and turn off the ringer on the wall phone. True one goes through life without picking up the phone though it's better than answering fraud Over and Over or waiting for that date phone message that never comes. Which leads to why even write this or have a phone? Hey, we all phone out somehow and I'm not giving up 1000 HD baseball games a year. Miss Fenn did such a good job on Two Moon it's worth noting if she figures out 149 and her paying for a stamp to here there is always hope, till the end of time or whatever now. I already mentioned once before this out of state. JRI St Maries, ID John

  36. You’re talking to a casual God where the rule see you three times in day and I’ll scream applies even to me. And when that rule gets applied even to the ruler of time space and dimension to a specific movie, Two Moon, you know every thought from every actor, what do I care that the big bad boogie out of state man figures out my address is 149 Sunny St Maries, ID. It’s going to cost Miss Fenn a stamp for email four, though May 1st first base will be hard to ignore. It’s always a thought to walk away from perfection, or the next best. As for strip shows from the next door second story neighbor window, I’d object if I didn’t like her so much, like her as in very, very, very past tense and neither party has access for the longest time to either house. As for friendly neighbors walking by ‘then’ joking what are you looking at that’s all you or me need to know. Well this is my third email so it’s either hold hands girl or I’m (I’d prefer to skip final thoughts).

  37. What did I learn today? I learned Miss Fenn has a teenage son. What did I forget? Some nonsense about email number 4 though Miss Fenn is always invited to write. It will be awhile son before we play pitcher, I cut my finger unloading the dishwasher.

  38. I'll do some grooming today before morning coffee, epilate and lazer. I had about ten minutes while falling asleep where my mind played a trick on me. I felt Miss Fenn and I were actually an item. Thanks for the moment.

  39. After 1500 pizzas, most of them store bought frozen, I've decided to give them up for 100 future gourmet pizzas before I'm gone. One can't go wrong with veg, NY, chicken, potatoe, gourmet coffee, evap water, protein shakes and pancakes. I don't take Miss Fenn for granted.

  40. No smoking pot in the Newport Beach CA parking lot at midnight munching on Perry's pizza after Italian unless were an item.

  41. All bastard Republican-Democrat-Independant remarks are now welcome because you can't, won't home phone number focus, including looney tunes.

  42. If you're saying he said to them while he can't find her the next day you're a and then some. As for that's our business and that's why we're richer than you and for us it's always the same that way with variation do you see me trying to outhink? I mean I would or try if got the girl.

  43. If you're saying you couldn't outthink me if you faked your school records well I have faked them, without your half a hand signals.

  44. First, I want to say that I hope this blog does not belong to somebody that is masquerading as Ms. Fenn. There are far too many phonies in this world ( in person and online )... So I sincerely hope this is the real Sherilyn Fenn.... Anyway, if the real Ms. Fenn is reading this, I want to say that I think you're brave to share your heartfelt thoughts on this blog. You should feel proud about your honesty and the type of person you are.... Quote: "I feel things really deeply" - - So do I, and that makes us vulnerable to another person's superficiality and insensitivity.... Quote: "But write I must for it does fill me in a way that nothing else can" - - I think, I know what you mean. Writing can be so incredibly liberating. Being able to get rid of some of the baggage that we all have inside of us is very therapeutic... Ms. Fenn, I wish you peace and happiness.

  45. Four people at various places online said S F if nothing will read here what you write. I don't know how honeymoon true that is. As for you're to skitish to stamp then there is no pleasing you. As for S F honeymoon been there, done that, you're still stamp invited. And if you're skepical about in person phonyness count yourself one lucky kentucky derby horse. I still qualify for most girls scream if they see me three times in a day. If you beleive nothing else Lutheran that.

  46. The only boy the could ever teach me, was the son of preacher man. I knew the preacher's wife too, and that got you your role in Boxng Helena. As for girlfiends of girlfriends then 30 Helens agree. JRI

  47. The 'only' team I play for is after the first 10 get their will money am I even listed? If not you better pick up the dinner check 10 times a year and like her more than me. And no I'm not talking to Helena I want just one sip of hydro. To be completely honest I couldn't find that Helena with a road map since 85.

  48. Now is that yes you like to drink airplane fuel or yes kiss the Author horse? Or neither above, we're simply having a good time. Seeing how I want you to have a good time I'll disappear for week and see if the mailbox talks.

  49. If I was like filthy rich I'd use overnight mail, but that's just Ynakee me. As for World Series rings I ordered a new class ring this week. How can you tell I 74 faked it? I went with the Star of David.

  50. I really did fake school records. I just haven't picture frame shown anyone.

  51. Final trivia I'm never going to smoke pot with a partner unless I'm sure that I die before keep your money her. Why? The thought of really being paranoid pot crazy alone at 75 is 10 times scarier than actually smoking pot nowadays alone. Beleive you me paranoid lights out alone is scary, though I haven't had the feeling much since I returned the mattress for credit. If you're thinking forget you then you woose I wish you the best. As for I wouldn't look for it even for free unless it was behind a counter tell that to girls who have left me over that, even giving up free medical.

  52. A slight verification. Scary lights out mentioned while trying to fall asleep for an hour every night was a physical problem causing a mental problem for about twenty days. There was a constant slight woozy feeling that caused an anxiety problem, both new. I took steps to correct it without knowing if it was me or my surroundings. However while going through the experience it had one guru frightening conclusion. I have no teddy girl to help and for the first time in my life, decades, I realized how fragile it is to be alone. For some reason too it made me glad I haven’t smoked pot in thirty years because I had a very slight breathing problem too. Previously I had felt sorry for myself more than glad giving up pot, the give up reason because I couldn’t buy it as anything else. All is physical better now however that guru conclusion remains, alone is fragile, which I think is a good thing. Not as good as being with Miss Fenn, at least I think. I mean I figure even if we had the googly mutual eyes for each other to spend our lives together, the for sale sign is huge, here or there. Oh well, no reason much going further knowing I’ll probably get Miss Fenn mailbox stood up so what to do with the 52 inch Two Moon isn’t on my mind or asking you have you ever known anyone who attended Ontario Christian High School? I went elsewhere. However really thank you for that freebie wedding on Tv. You really did it good enough for me to want to be you and be with you.

  53. If the answer is yes, it’s possible Perry went to Ontario Christian High, then the scene where he finds a wallet represents being an usher at a 1977 wedding. If not there is one other possibility, except he didn’t go to the wedding, he only had an invite and didn’t have long hair. As for me the idiot, Perry is me. What is the true religious dogma giveaway of who you had in mind does an actor show up in various parts of the country with you. Personally here I think Burl Ives called in some favors and did a great job before we all turned into idiots. As for you’re completely wrong John on all counts, you were not in mind at all, I like Miss Fenn anyway.

  54. If you're going back for seconds,
    like a second wife,
    I'd paint it like I was there,

    Hoppin John
    olive oil
    black eyed peas
    Salt pepper

    Hope and pray

  55. Haha what the hell happened here?

  56. When thinking bacon press don't bother with the predrilled circle center handle style because if not perfectly dry it will crack. A Pyrex rectangle bowl works better as a press. Thin maple bacon is a good choice with a press to keep the stomach from growling, why would anyone eat curly bacon? And I guess 12885 makes since to somebody. I once bought a huge grill pan to fit a oversized rectangle press before I figured out that Pyrex. Well that's it for I don't know you that well to be that sexy of an idiot. I once too dated a weird billboard Sherry, great shape, strange mind.

  57. Hi TwoMoon, your ego had taken over this blog. Your stream of consciousness...Be careful.

  58. The biggest gifts I ever got from dating a H Hefner look alike girl for half a decade was actually a year after not seeing her. Billboards all over southern California freeways and towns started appearing in my name, I guess that happens when trying to cloth centerfolds and I didn't even have a subscription. I'd date a girl, then see her clone on a freeway. Date Sherri one month, see her on the 7 freeway the next. That does some things to your head, negative, positive, and like you can't tell anyone. You'd think it make me some money though all it did was fool a million drivers every day. Unless Miss Fenn raises my mailbox flag this week I'll consider her one of the fooled and after a week I'll delete her online addresses from my computer. And I don't care about pot or tossing lightening bolts, smoke em if you got em. If I needed to get high I'd move to Mendicino. It's sort of the theory show for small fry, that way when whales show you show years after we never knew you, then, future or now.

  59. I really don't understand the three bungy card jumpers. I've considered you don't have a chance of divorcing wife two cause the third jumper forgot his bungy cord. I've considered a Princess House gold color glass candle holder on three chains. I've also considered why don't you climb up there and change the freeway billboard wallpapers. I'll consider that all a forth helping mystery of Hoppin John with onions. That's a joke, I haven't had black eyed peas or So Cal freeways in years. Consider this goodbye, I just deleted you from the favorites, nothing personal, which means your only remaining move that I can see is raise the mailbox flag. The other pistol shower ring mystery is did you marry the guy or not? What’s the one biggest non relationship thing in all that? One feels kidnaped getting into the car to go to work. Not at first, but after the 50th billboard yes with a weird I can’t wait to see how they are going to kidnap me next. There is no next as that in this state because there are no billboards. And with the invention of the PC and PC whales eating other whales as easy as breakfast there is no one man to control everything, like the old man pretending to be you said I was or am doing. Don't forget now, I'm blind here.

  60. I don't understand very well english but there I can understand you at all TwoMoon :)

    Take care of you,


  61. P.S : "I can't" not "I can".

  62. Sherilyn very kindly agreed to be our celeb' of the month this month, check out her answer's to our 'Proust Questionnaire' here, Thanks Sherilyn! x

  63. Looks like two moon is using Sherilyn's blog as his own and what the heck is he talking about????
    I never thought such nonsense existed until I read or tried to read his blog.

  64. God help me I am afraid to write now because it's gotten TOO weird.... You ALL know what I am talking about.... I need a serious block situation.... help!!!!!!!!!


  65. Just delete spammy/troll-like comments.You're not obligated to leave them there. If you move to Wordpress, you can block IP addresses. Not sure you can do that on Blogger.

  66. Sherilyn-

    I just found your blog today, and honestly I was clueless as to who you were until a few months ago. I was blinded by your beauty so i came onto the internet to find out who you were and I found this blog.

    What I have read are some of the most beautiful and powerful words that I needed to read. It is important to know that there are other people out there who's feelings are similar to what you feel.

    Though I do not know you, my heart goes out to you and your struggles. It is in my nature to wish that I could be a shoulder for others to lean on.

    I ask you this, please don't stop writing. Your words are beautiful and empowering, and I am embracing every word.

    It was your beauty that captivated me.... but it is your words that embrace me.


  67. Happy I found the blog wish I'd found it sooner. The interwebs ya know... anyway. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. It's something I'm sure many other actors and whatnot would like to be able to do. The need to protect privacy while being able to partake in what everyone else is doing in the age of the 'status update'. This post said it best from a cat up above here some place:

    "I confess, I have admired the image and the talent of "Sherilyn Fenn" for years. But of course all of us fans could only guess as to what and who the "real" Sherilyn Fenn was.
    I am happily pleased to learn through this blog (and through Facebook), that you are quite literally a thousand times sweeter, more emotional, far more intelligent and amazingly more considerate than I ever could have imagined. You are finally very "real".
    I genuinely hope you continue your blogs, continue your honesty, and continue to be you.
    Finally my faith in the internet has been justified.
    Thanks so much!!"