Saturday, December 5, 2009

The job that changed my life

When I was about 22 or 23 I believe.... I had been kicking around in Hollywoodland for a few years. Getting a few roles here and there. Sometimes being exploited and feeling quite disillusioned. I just wasn't passionate about the work yet. I had not met the teacher that would change my relationship to acting and ultimately my life. The late, great Roy London. Or gotten the job that would do the same. Giving me the opportunity to swim in the greatness and brilliance of others. That was about to change.

It was about this time that I had met a manager who said a some things that had a profound effect on me. In all honesty she was pursuing me because of my ex boyfriend Johnny . I believe she hoped to connect with him. She did not know the status of our relations, that we were no longer together and I did not tell her. It was OK because in the process of her working the angle, I got valuable, desperately needed input. Some tangible tools that would help to the trajectory of my career.

I was at that point so desperate to be liked and to be loved and to be seen. ugh, yes, still. I would go to auditions and when the casting directors would ask the perfunctory,"Do you have any questions about the character?" A question that they NEVER want you to answer with anything other than NO. I would answer with,"Well, how do you see her?" Naively hopeful that if I could fulfill their vision I might get the job and get the validation I seemed to constantly need.

This is disastrous for an actor. You see, the key to great acting I was later to discover is to illuminate the human struggle. YOUR human struggle. YOUR life. YOUR direct experience. No ones imagination is as interesting as the plain truth. To look at something about your life that you are actually dealing with in that time. Not some bullshit past, dog that died in childhood thing. Not that I am knocking The Method, but I am.

It was relevant when it came into being, which was the 1950's. But we are ,as a world and a society a far cry from that . Back then it was remarkable for a man to show emotion at all. Now people, sometimes complete strangers give us more information about their personal life than we ever want to know. With the exploitation of lives and emotional unrest everywhere on supposed reality tv.

So there I was, desperate to please and be liked and most of all....get the job. The results...not so great. I got harsh feedback at times. One heartbreaking one I remember was that I lacked depth and intensity. Or a common one, that I was too green. Funny because now one cannot not be too green. I wonder what they say to the newbies now.

It hurt me deeply yet I also knew a lot of their criticism was correct. And I simply did not have the tools to actually change it. This is where the manager came into play. She had invited me to her annual Christmas party. I got all dressed to the nines and showed up. Scared..... and more than likely I slipped in and out of my shy/mute state as there were celebrities everywhere. I was Johnnyless which I am sure did not make the manager happy.

I can only remember Willem Dafoe being there. I liked him and his work. But I felt nervous because he had done Platoon with Johnny. At a certain point during the filming while they were in the Philippines I had broken up in what was essentially a dear john letter. Literally and figuratively. Only to come back together once he returned.

I had just felt abandoned by him. He was my first love and for him to go and be gone for 2 months was more than my lack of maturity could tolerate. So what that he wrote me and sent pictures from the film with my name written across his helmet. Still, I wanted to hurt him and I had. I always intended to be with him when he returned. Upon his return we immediately holed up in a hotel close to the airport and came back together.

So Willem Dafoe represented a difficult time in my life and every time I looked at him, I felt it. I don't even think he noticed me. I believe the wonderful Andy Garcia was there as well. But I cannot be certain. I stayed for a bit, drank some vino and then escaped.

Escape is an apropos word because I have never been a social creature. I isolate, that is just me. I don't like bullshit and small talk. I still avoid really social situations. Unless it is with like minded people and we can have real conversation. This is limiting and I am trying to look at it a different way. I am trying to look between the lines, share whatever and know sometimes that is enough. I don't have to have poignant conversation all the time. And I am learning to laugh again and have fun.

A few days later, I was summoned to the managers office for a meeting. Maybe she wanted to rep me? I was excited with the ever present nerves of a young Michigan girl who was completely out of here element. I never in a million years would have thought that I would be an actress when I was a young person. Never. I did not choose it, it chose me.

She did not want to rep me, not yet. She said what a lot of people in her position are fond of saying." You are a project away from us working together." Which is shorthand for, there is too much work to do with you at your current state and once you are discovered, I'll jump on the bandwagon because I have not an original belief in my head. Sorry, but that is how I see it. Most Hollywoodlanders need those creative few show them whats up. Then, when it is sufficiently safe, they jump on board with false bravado and bullshit stories of how they knew and believed in you way back when.

Thank god I was soon to meet one such director but the managers words would help to make this connection stick. She said that she had been observing me at her party. That it was obvious that I was trying to be a "good girl." To be "liked." That I was putting on a mask basically. She shared that the good directors want to work with the actors who" know who they are authentically and show up that way. "

In others words, if I am shy, that is how I should show up. If I am a bitch or rude by nature, don't curb it. If I am a jokey kind of girl or an airhead without affectation but in my essence , that is how I must show up.

WOW. She had given me permission to just be me. That I was actually enough. It blew my mind. I was still so young and was not sure who I was. Moving around so much as a young girl, I was constantly changing myself to fit into a new social group at a new school. Old catholic money one year, new Jewish community the next. It was mind boggling and that combined with my very young childhood [another blog all unto itself] added to a loss of my identity.

So I did some soul searching. And I realized that when I first met people, I was shy. That was at least one truth I could grasp. That I and been entering auditions all positive and happy and bright. Regardless of what I was feeling. It was all so false. No wonder I was often rejected. That and the fact that as an aspiring actress you receive mostly rejection. Its the nature of the beast.

The other thing I did was not share my truth about what I had read. I would act like I liked the script even if I did not. There could be no real communication about the project unless I showed up honestly. Easier said then done. This one would be a tricky line to walk. But what I was doing was not working.

I digested this new information for a bit but in a short amount of time I would put it to the test. I was called excitedly by my agent. I had a meeting with an amazing filmmaker who was doing a tv series. David Lynch. Now I was not too familiar with his work, but I had seen the unforgettable and incredibly disturbing Blue Velvet. My agent encouraged me to rent The Elephant Man and I did.

I was touched so deeply to the very core of my being by this film. It was so different in tone from Blue Velvet. This man was a great director. My god. What a heartbreaking film. How much truth and depth..... I will never forget it and although it is absolutely difficult to watch at times, it is one of my favorite films.

I love most films like this. They resonate with me. Moments so personal , so painful they are actually hard to watch. They pierce ones soul. Like in Truly, Madly, Deeply when she is sobbing so hard you begin to as well. Like being at a birth of child and you find yourself bearing down and pushing as the mother to be does so. Another film I adore is Who's afraid of Virginia Wolfe.

Having played Elizabeth Taylor and vigilantly searching for the woman and not the legend/icon. I personally found this to be the role that came closest to revealing the woman. Not to mention the intense dynamic that existed between she and Richard Burton. Especially in the later days. That and some candid, unrehearsed footage of her were the keys for me. And I love her to this day.

While I watched David's second film, the script was being sent to me. I usually had to go get my scripts, they were not being delivered....yet. But since it was Sir David Lynch, they made an exception. After the emotional film, I am sure I most likely put on a pot of chicken soup, a constant in my life even today, I sat and awaited the arrival of the holy grail. It was not at that point called Twin Peaks. It was something with northern in it, but I cannot remember it. Maybe Northwest passage?!

I had not to date met a truly great director. Not one. I was scared. All that the manager had said was running through my mind. I started to contemplate what I might wear. But quickly realized I needed to read the script first. I was told it would not be a reading, just a meeting. That was not how this unique man worked. He would simply have meetings and in talking to you would decide if and where you fit into the beautiful world he was creating.

As I read the script I must admit that I did not find it so incredible. It was no Elephant Man. My agent kept referencing Peyton Place but this meant nothing to this young person. It read like a soap opera. Hence the reference but Blue Velvet meets Peyton Place. That was the one line pitch. I challenge anyone to have read it , in and of itself and guessed what it turned into. I inexperienced as I was could not see it. But was excited nonetheless. Be the magical hand of David Lynch would be touching it.

So there were the three options of roles for me as far as I could tell. The dead girl, Laura Palmer. The sweet girl who always cried, Donna Hayward. Or the sexy waitress who was being abused by her mean husband, Shelley. Sorry, I cannot remember her last name. [A tweetybird reminded me its Shelley Johnson. Thank you] Although in my life I was most like Donna, I did not think I could carry a show the way she had to. Let alone cry scene after scene. I would more than likely be seen as Shelley.

You see, there was NO AUDREY HORNE at this point. Sad but true. But ultimately not so sad as it turned out, right!!!!!

I remember sitting in the waiting room at Propaganda Films. My heart pounding out of my chest. Looking around at a few other girls no doubt experiencing the same emotions. Remembering what the manager said. Just be yourself. Just be yourself, was my mantra. Then my name was called. ldgutikehgsvrjmthnjbhvgfdsguritoyuiytyrtefwgshdjfmgnbvcdh!!!!!

The head shot they had was me in a black turtleneck with very short platinum blond hair. Very overexposed and artsy. It was why David brought me in. My hair had since been dyed to it dark color again. David immediately spoke of that. In fact, he did most the talking because I was being as I am in my life....shy. How I had to fight every impulse to be chipper and all this other stuff I had pretended to be in auditions and my young life up until now. And if forced him to talk more than he was accustomed to.

He said the picture reminded him of his daughter with the blond hair and all . A woman would I would come to know, love and work on one of my most intense jobs with. Boxing Helena. She is simply brilliant. Of course I am speaking of Jennifer Lynch. Again, this is another blog altogether. But did you know that Jen wrote the book of Laura Palmer's diary that came out while the show aired?! A little trivia.

David was kind and funny. Not at all what I expected. He was quirky but in an innocent way. I thought he'd be dark but he was not. Only the recesses of his mind were. Who's are not. And he had the courage to look at it. Through his work. The best description I have ever heard of him was Jimmy Stewart from Mars. That is the perfect one, to me.

Then he asked if I liked the script. Uh-oh!!!!!! The moment of truth. So far, I was true to me. Would I share my perspective? Could I??? It was nothing less than a character defining moment. A turning point in my life. The beginning of telling the truth. I said there, a huge lump in my throat, I felt like I couldn't breathe. He stared at me with a slight smile, prompting.....

I finally said.... well..... yea..... I thought it was ok...... He just looked at me. Not upset but wanting to hear more of my inexperienced perspective. And....... it seems like everyone is sleeping with everyone else. He smiled and seemed to appreciated my honesty. We finished and I left. Relieved to be finished and prayerful that it went well.

I got home to find an urgent message on my answering machine. My agent. Call asap. I was told that although it seemed that David was not offended, the casting director was outraged. She said I should've been more positive and tried to talk more and have more energy. It was devastating. Maybe that stupid fucking manager was wrong. Clearly she was and I blew a huge opportunity in the process.

I don't remember how long it was before I got the next call. But I do remember feeling lost and depressed. Wondering if I should even do this stupid Hollywood thing. Pulled out chicken soup again and isolated .

But the magic call came. One of the few I can count on one hand in this business that I will not ever forget. It seemed that the casting person was wrong. So wrong. That David loved me, wanted me on the show and was actually WRITING a role for me!!!!!!!! WHAT???!!!!!

I remember where I was standing as I got that call. I freaked out. I played it cool on the phone, mocking the casting directors earlier criticism. Hung up and lost it!!!! Jumping, screaming, laughing and crying. So much so that my crazy neighbor knocked on my door to check that I was ok. She then joined me in my celebratory dance and busted into some praise God's.

That David Lynch saw something in me that no one really had, save my dear agent of many years, was astounding to me. I am forever indebted to him. And frankly, I kind fell a little in love with him. As a patient does with a doctor that saves her and nurses her back to health.

It seemed for the moment, I had been saved.






36 comments:

  1. Nice work, once again! It seems that the lesson you learned to be honest has served you well. I think more of us should follow that credo.

    -M

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  2. I enjoy your writings. Your experiences really strike a chord with me.

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  3. I feel like I'm right there with you - your writing is so vivid and alive! Thank you for sharing these stories.

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  4. Thank you very much Sherilyn. You're the only one writing in english that I can read with delight (I'm french and don't practice your linguage very good). It's a great pleasure to know a little bit from you and to see how you do it with your words...

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  5. Loved it (your post), of course. I absolutely adore Twin Peaks, and a lot of that enjoyment has to do with all the memorable characters. Dale, Audrey, Andy, and Albert were my favorites.

    It's funny how challenging it can be to behave authentically in public. I wonder if it's because we're taught so young to be nice and acceptable, that we all worry we're somehow offensive in our natural state? LOL. Maybe it's a combination of fear of being unacceptable and also not really having an identity worked out yet.

    I like your writing. It's entertaining, but also thought-provoking.

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  6. once again i am on the edge of my seat reading this blog. u have a way of capturing the reader. what a priviledge it is to read about your experiences. i have to say again that i love your work, and especially felt drawn in on a rude awakening episode where u were pleading with your mother not to leave your father and marry the lawyer. u were crying and begging her and i was crying too. awesome performance (one of many)... can't wait for more of your blog updates...

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  7. God, I SO wish more people had seen Rude Awakening. I loved working on it. It was on of Showtimes first series. They did not know how to promote things then. Now under new managemen,t they seem to have it right. With so many good shows. But I have to believe things happen for a reason. And I am happy we touched the people, like you, that we did touch. Thanks so much. That reminds me of a possible funny blog to do. Kisses

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  8. I love the honesty and truthfulness in your writing as you look back at past events. Like your acting, I think your writing illuminates human struggle, also. You're not afraid to be candid in addressing situations from your past or current struggles that you're going through. It's so wonderful, Sherilyn! I share so many of the same feelings you do and it makes me feel so good to read your blogs. It makes me feel like I'm not alone =) (As cliched as it sounds, but it's true)
    How wonderful to have had people in your life like David Lynch, Prince and Roy London!! (I saw David and Jennifer when I attended the premiere of her film Surveillance this past summer. Such a talented family. It was amazing just being in the same theater with them.) Your mentioning Johnny reminded me of the episode of 21 Jump Street that you guest-starred in. I believe it was the first or second season? And you played a girl who wanted Johnny's character to kill her father because he was molesting her. Very powerful.
    And I remember your platinum hair from the Two Moon Junction/Crime Zone days. Very Madonna-ish. Then it was short and brunette in True Blood, which I think was right before Twin Peaks. So many memories. Dare I even ask what it was like working with Zalman King? Or for Charles Band in that weird film Meridian-Kiss of the Beast? Maybe more possible blog ideas =)

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  10. Forgive me, I have a bit of a personal paranoia about the Web 2.0 thing (opening up... virtually?), but I think I'll push that aside for this, and try my best. Considering how much you've given, I feel as though it's owed.

    Here's the cliche and predictable, yet honest introduction: your fantastic talent is something that has inspired my work to this day. Thank you. Moving beyond that, the respect and acknowledgement you have for your fans is something... well, I can't say enough about. Now I'm sure that you're also a beautiful human being. Thank you number two. As an artist and filmmaker of Detroit at the stressful, disillusioned young age of 22 (and a production that is literally draining the life out of me); I've hit a level of stress that's causing reconsideration in this path. A path only seriously started considering as a profession after watching David Lynch's work at 15. Your experience hit close to home (literally?) in more ways than one, which is why this blog specifically is another thing I owe you a thank you for (number three, right?). Again, you've inspired me, but in a different way. Your words have broken me out of whatever stress coma I've dug myself into at one of the most important points of my life, and I've just finished my script. I might have poured whatever was left of me into it, but that's how I share. Thanks for yours.

    -Derek

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  11. I'm gay, but watching your performance on Twin Peaks at 15 made me realize I had the capacity to be attracted to women. It wasn't just your looks or the cherry stem bit, but something that stemmed from your performance. There's a scene when Blackie squeezes your face at One-Eyed Jacks while she's threatening you, and you look so vulnerable, it made me want to jump through the TV screen and save you! 'Cause prior to those scenes you had been so cunning and resourceful, I guess. Powerful stuff to a sexually confused 15-year-old. And the performance still holds up today. Also love when you "pray" to Cooper. The exposition in the screenwriting in that scene is unforgivable (I'm a screenwriting MFA student in Austin), but you pull it off somehow. (Also loved you on Gilmore Girls, in an unrelated note.)

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  12. wow!! u made my year responding to the comment i posted.. i have to confess i only recently discovered rude awakening a couple years ago... back when it was on in 98,99,2000 & 2001, i was busy dating my future hubby, getting engaged and planning the dream wedding/honeymoon. flash forward 11 years and 2 kids later i stumbled across your interviews about rude awakening on the late late show on youtube. i thought to myself i need to check this show out. I caught a few episodes also on youtube and bought some ancient vhs tapes of rude awakening from ebay. i am baffled as to why this entertaining show hasn't been yet released on dvd. there are lots of people that will buy it. i think there is even a petition going around on the internet (of which of course i signed) i am dying to see more episodes... you were great in it and proved to be such a diverse actress. u r so very talented. u really are. i am curious to know how someone as shy as u describe yourself actually can make acting look so effortless and easy and draw people in as u do? i guess some people are gifted that way. your so creative and talented. anyway i truly hope one day u blog about your experiences on rude awakening. i hope as i read your blog that u takes us on all your journeys and experiences thru your amazing career. i also enjoyed your appearance on the show cupid with jeremy piven. i wonder how many people caught the inside joke jermey said as he approached u on the dance floor and said something about leather tuscadero...
    can u also tell us about your interest and any involvement with cosmikids? thanks for putting your truth out there and of course we all look forward to more...

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  13. Not much to say that others haven't- except that you're the best! You've been one of my inspirations for almost two decades now. Your work as Audrey was exceptional; unbelievably layered but with such heart and innocence- and will remain a classic. (I still can't face the aborting of the Cooper/Audrey plot though- one of TVs greatest travesties.)

    all the best to you.

    And fantastic blog!

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  14. This was so great. My second fave blog of yours. Your very first is my fave. I have a few actor friends (I am not an actor) and from what they tell me of their agents makes me sick. So, when I saw this passage from you ......She said what a lot of people in her position are fond of saying." You are a project away from us working together." Which is shorthand for, there is too much work to do with you at your current state and once you are discovered, I'll jump on the bandwagon because I have not an original belief in my head..... I laughed my ass off. So well said, so well said!

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  15. Oops, its not your first one, but "In The Red" thats my fave.

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  16. Hi Sherilyn,

    It's wonderful to hear your thoughts on the whole Twin Peaks experience and the events leading up to it. Over the years, I feel like I've heard so many interviews with David and other actors from the show but for me you were really key to that whole series as well, so it's like getting an important missing piece of the puzzle. For instance, I never knew the thing about how David didn't have your character in mind and then wrote it after meeting you. That is so cool! What a compliment!

    It's also so interesting to me that although, you have a very shy side to your personality, David was able to see your potential to be Audrey (who is what I would describe as mostly the complete opposite if shy-lol). Do you feel that it's easier to play characters that are more similar or different from your own personality?

    Thanks for sharing yourself with us so candidly and I look forward to reading more of these.

    Amy Sullivan
    San Francisco

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  17. Great post! Love the way it shows the origins of your mission to speak your truth.

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  18. I love your writing, it's so honest and visceral. Thank you for your words.

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  19. Great writing....I would definitely purchase your book maybe titled, Fenntastic Adventures in Hollywood? Please tell us Sherilyn, what is your favorite U2 song? God bless.

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  20. Hi Sherilyn--

    Old fan, new reader here... loving your blog! It's really great how open and revealing you are with your life, your struggles and your history. Although you'd blogged about recent bouts of unhappiness, it's nice to read that you've come out of the darkness and are living with an enhanced and positive worldview. Kudos to you!

    Your style and depth here is fantastic. I like it and I'm eager to read more posts!

    It's a brave (or bold?) move to share personal stories of heartache and strife; it takes a big person to put pen to paper and allow others to read the chapters of your life. Thanks for sharing!

    Andrea

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  21. Thank you so much for sharing this story!

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  22. Love your blog! Especially as an IMDb lurker! What a site! You have quite the bio on there. I was looking at your page and noticed THE SCENESTERS . On the message board is info about this blog. I want to see that! Not sure where? Probably Blockbuster in a few months. HA! Love the Vacationeers! One of the coolest things people can do is make fun of themselves!

    I wrote a post about Audrey Horne awhile back, on the Twin Peaks fest site. To the effect that Audrey got the idea for invading Cooper's room from The Big Sleep where Carmen invades Marlowe's house to try to get her photos back. Bet she read that. She was somewhat literate as she had read The Scarlett Letter. Considering the time period of the movie they couldn't quite portray that scene as it is in the book. Cooper sure goes easier on Audrey than Marlowe does on Carmen!

    Even further back I wrote Lara Flynn Boyle, I think in her blog? Can't quite remember. But she was expressing concerns at viewing some of Twin Peaks and her scenes. I love her in that! So I just thought to give a little reassurance. One scene that stands out for me is the RR Diner scene where Audrey is havng a coffee and thinking of Cooper. Donna is also there with her parents. So she goes to the counter to sit with Audrey. "Agent Cooper like black coffee". Donna says "Audrey!" just a minor scene but it stands out for me!

    I have a rather narrow perspective on cinema. I like Hitchcock style films, noir, psychological thrillers, paranormal themes, some sci-fi. So I miss alot. Can't say that I'll watch a film just to see an actor. I want to know what it's about. So I've missed most of your work. Geez, I want to see RUBY for instance. And OF MICE AND MEN .

    I taped OUTSIDE OZONA . I still have that. what a spooky film! Your character winds up kind of like the one in WILD AT HEART . A synchronicity is Robert Forster in that. One of his first films was REFLECTIONS IN A GOLDEN EYE with Elizabeth Taylor and Brando. And of course the detective in MULHOLLAND DRIVE . I never did get to see your portrayal of Taylor. I'll look for it if it's available. I'm sure curious.

    And I definitely want to see PRESUMED DEAD . You play a detective named Cooper, huh? Cool!

    And I remember seeing NIGHTMARE STREET . A favorite theme of mine, and apparently David Lynch's, parallel dimensions.

    Not sure why I missed Rude Awakenings. Guess I'm not into episodic TV much. Though I was watching The X-Files then. I missed Sheryl Lee's Kingpin too!

    Oh well, I'll keep reading you're blog definitely. I could go on. but it's like you said, too much information.

    Good luck!

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  23. Hey Sherilyn,
    I've only just found your blog online today, via your Facebook page & just wanted to say how much I enjoyed reading your recent post titled 'The Job That Changed My Life'.
    I've been a HUGE fan of yours (ever since I first saw you in 'The Wraith' back in the 80's lol) & think you're a truly gifted (& VERY under-rated) actress, not to mention one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen !
    Reading what you had to say in this blog really did strike a chord with me, thankyou for being so forthright & honest. I'm so glad you were 'yourself' when you first met director David Lynch & told him exactly what you really thought regarding 'Twin Peaks', not what (i imagine) you were led to believe a director of his status would want to hear from a (then) unknown & aspiring actress. David rightly saw something very special, rare & different in you at that initial interview you mentioned, as well as recognising your passion & admirable talent for the performing arts - the same things that long-time fans like myself always have and will have ongoing respect for!
    I just wanted to say a heart-felt thankyou for sharing this well written & v/interesting story - it's proof positive in being strong enough to believe in yourself, to have the courage to say what you really feel and to follow your dreams!
    With Love & Best Wishes,
    Nige, U.K.

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  25. Hi beautiful Sherilyn,

    I am writing from Brazil and I am a great fan of you and your work. As well as David Lynch´s work, of course. Thanks for sharing this story with everyone. Choosing you for Twin Peaks was a great demonstration of Lynch´s geniality. Thank God he did it. I wish you the best always, ok?

    Roberto

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  26. That was a great read. I love your honesty.
    I'm 20 years old so was only a baby when Twin Peaks came out. I can't quite remember what convinced me to watch it - I think it was something on IMDb that told me "if you like this, you may also like..." and Twin Peaks was one of the suggestions. I'd heard about it a few times and thought I'd give it a try.
    I watched the first few episodes online and adored it. I had to order the Gold boxset online from some other country because they don't sell it in the UK.
    Needless to say, Audrey was my favourite character. I have a poster of Audrey and Cooper on my bedroom wall which I love. He's sat in the diner with a mug of coffee and cherry pie and your character is gazing at him admirably.
    I don't know what it is about Audrey but I just thought she was amazing. It was the way you played her and the DEPTH you gave her. I ended up joining a Facebook group called "Why aren't more girls like Audrey Horne".
    It was wonderful to read this blog entry and find out some more about how she came to be!
    Merry Christmas Sherilyn! =]

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  27. other than agent dale cooper audrey horne, and your portrayal of her, are my favorite things about that series. you were amazing.

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  28. Hey Sherilyn, hope you had a great christmas. you tweeted back to me few weeks ago about being a Michigan gal (you, not me lol) and missing snow. well we (Britain) got snow! melting sadly.

    anyway. your description of the casting meeting with David Lynch for Twin Peaks. I mis-read the line and thought you had attended it with short cropped blonde hair. I immediately thought of Mulholland Drive, of Naomi Watts's audition scene. obviously what happened at yours is different to the dark turn Lynch took Watts's scene with, but the shy blonde girl from out east stepping into the strange hollywood world... i wonder if he thought of your audition when he started writing that scene.
    xx

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  29. sherilyn-who-shines:

    paraphrasing victor hugo, nothing and no one on earth can withstand the power (the real power) of the authentic self. thank you for these thunderclaps of yours.

    michael (who suspects he'll be reading back in time for quite some time)

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  30. That had to be the best story I have ever read!
    Thanks Sherilyn!
    Oh and indeed....Mr.Lynch is simply fantastic!!

    Paul

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  31. Thanks God and David Lynch, you, Sherilyn are Audrey Horne! Unique! Like Sherilyn Fenn herself!

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  32. sherilyn, i'll have you know that audrey horne is my favorite character of any tv series that has ever been created. and i think you're a wonderful actress. and i wish that more people knew how good an actress you are. honestly, even though you, as well as audrey, were and are stunningly beautiful, what i love about audrey is despite that stunning beauty, it isn't distracting. and it's not something on the forefront of my mind when i watch her. your beauty isn't what makes you a good actress, your acting is always genuine and full of depth. it's always a joy for me to watch.. ~emily devereaux

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  33. Dear Sherilyn, I'm just now experiencing Twin peaks for the first time and I've been seduced by Audrey. You are just perfect for the role, flawless. I stumbled on your blog today when googling you and I found this post. I wanted to thank you for your honesty, I image its hard to write on the web with such frankness. Knowing the story of how you came into the role of Audrey and your initial meeting with Lynch is fascinating for me! Thanks for sharing! Emily in CA

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  34. You got a really useful blog I have been here reading for about an hour. I am a newbie and your success is very much an inspiration for me.

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