Confessions of a Gelson's whore

So, I've always been a huge fan of Gelson's... the Super Market.  But in these financially challenging times, shopping at a store with such a super mark -up is not too bright. But I can't say that I don't miss it like an addict to their heroin fix. There are so many wonderful things about Gelson's  super market, the least of not that its somewhere you can go where they remember your name.... [uh, was that in a TV show theme song??!!] And the store itself is always so clean, the produce fresh and ripe, and oh so shiny from the waxy finish. 

When I enter a Gelson's I am oddly happy, and grocery shopping (a normally mundane task) becomes a powerfully moving experience. I fancy myself quite successful as I fill up my cart to the rim. Sadly eyeing those who only have the hand held carry along. Ha! I think, they cannot afford to fill a cart like I.  Sad to say, but I would feel quite good about my seeming status. 

Price can be no issue when one shops there. We Gelson's frequenters do not even LOOK at the prices, for we are proud and free!  We want paper AND plastic!!! We deserve it.  

As I approach the check out, I anticipate what holiday is being promoted with gusto on the beautiful paper bags. Every holiday seems to have its days of glory at the beloved Gelson's. Bright pink and red hearts for Valentine's Day. Big orange pumpkins and scary ghosts at Halloween. Even a big Happy 44th Birthday Sherilyn, with balloons and brightly colored......just kidding. That was my imagination. But when you shop there, your ego gets all puffed up, like a bird that knows its being watched. 

As the ringer takes each item out of my cart and rings it up, that's right, at Gelson's you don't have to put your groceries on the conveyor belt. Its like the queen not ever needing to touch her money. Queen like feel,  I stand munching on some tiny size Chiclets [only available at Gelson's] feeling quite proud of all my purchases.  Knowing these lowly workers can't shop here themselves, maybe just a discount lunch at the deli section.....

Then, the total........ $473.55 .............. uh.............. wow........... yikes.......... huh ........uhhhhhhh!!!  Now the deflation process begins, if one has any common sense at all. You look at the bags colorful as they are but they can't stop the thoughts from flooding in. Did I get THAT much? Maybe I should have held off on the prime rib roast!! Shampoo is much cheaper if I use my discount card at the beauty supply store, Friends. Should I put something back?? No, no, no toooo embarrassing.  Next time I will go someplace else.  Someplace cheaper for God's sake. 

But like any other addict, you soon find yourself at the dealers door about a week later for your next fix. Because you see, I am the girl who laughs in the face of buy one get one free, spits at the notion of money back coupons, I don't even think Gelson's makes them. But I was wasteful back then and had no value for money. I did not grow up with money and had a family that acted as if it was so important.  And where it is nice to have, [and to the universe I definitely want more of it] it buys nothing real and often times a lot of headaches and heartaches.  In my experience whatever you get, just makes you want more. Its awful. 

The word "want" comes from the Norse.  And its translation is lack. Want means lack. Now that is not to say that I don't occasionally hit the Gelson's but NOT as hard as in the past.  In fact, I tip toe in and out as quick as possible. no pomp and pageantry, just my humble budget.  It has for me lost some of its shine.  I am however happy to share for those who have the need, that Seventh Generation natural diapers [for all us conscious mothers] are as competitive as at Baby's-R-Us. And cheaper than Whole Foods. Shocking really. Maybe even Gelson's is getting the planetary shift occurring.  

A fact you may or may not know is that I have been blessed with another baby boy. At 42, I had my second son Christian James.  My Myles Maximillian has just turned 15 years old. Teenagers and diapers. [A book I was trying to write as well.] This is perfect, for me. My kids continue to be the best things in my life.  But this time around, I stopped working to stay at home with him. Yes, I left Hollywood for over the past two years.  And then I entered into another beautiful relationship with Ralph. Ralph helps me feed my family.  Ralph lets me keep some of my money for doing the things I want to do.  And Ralph allows me to buy extra little things I want to buy. Of course I am speaking of Ralph's market. OK, its not as clean. Not as shiny. Not as COSTLY!!!!! My life has drastically changed. My confession is that at first I hated it!!!  I felt it below me. How could I put my groceries on the belt??!!! What do you mean am I a value costumer with a card??? Why can't I just have paper and plastic without being asked and having to feel the guilt of possibly being wasteful. 

But as time has a way of teaching us, if we allow it to, I learned. As money was tight, I could go get much more food for not a lot of money. And there is nothing worse than not knowing what you are gonna feed your family. And rejecting the McDonalds nation as I do, I want my kids to be healthy. And Gelson's does not always mean healthy. 

Another confession is that I who swore to never do that coupon thing, now do it, and do it with gusto. I saved $35.00 the other day and could not believe how happy it made me. No its not a lot, but its something.  So I shall continue on my path to being aware of the real worth of things. Be it food, people, time with my family, with my friends,  and how much I am willing to give Hollywoodland. Life is a dance and when we dance the music keeps changing. We need to adjust to the music with grace. Everything is changing people, will you dance through it with grace or have it pull you kicking and screaming, it's up to you... Or is it???!!!